I am so upset! Why do people find the bad in what I do? I want to just give up.?

I love my church and so much enjoy doing things for my church. Please don't judge me but I make the weekly bulletins, decorate the bulletin board, decorate the altar table, clean the church every week, make the tithing envelopes. I decorated for Easter and decided to use the theme of flowers: He's the lily of the Valley, Jesus, Rose of Sharon, etc. The church has a figurine of a crown on thorns and I didn't want to use that as a decoration piece. I'm not denying my belief in that, I just wanted to go with the flower theme. So my mom calls me up and made a big issue of not displaying the crown of thorns and I'm at the point to tell her she can take over the decorating. She always has to find fault with this or that and everyone else loves the decorations. I'm doing the best I can and it's like it's never good enough for her. What to do?

I am so upset! Why do people find the bad in what I do? I want to just give up.?
Whatever you're doing, you're doing unto the Lord, right? And not unto your mom? So don't worry what she or anyone thinks. Serve the Lord with gladness. :)
Reply:Don't let your mother upset you, it sounds like you're donating your time and creativity very generously to your Church. I'm sure that the pastor and other members appreciate your efforts. Mothers are infamously critical of their children, it's an ingrained fault we seem to have. ;-)





When your mother criticizes or offers what she thinks is "advice" just smile and nod and say "thanks for letting me know, Mom." Then do what you feel you need to do. My suggestion? Tell her that you're saving the crown of thorns for Good Friday. Then, when you put the statue up, add some miniature roses to cover the thorns. I agree with others that celebrating the new life with beauty rather than the tools of torture is a much more beautiful way to celebrate Easter.
Reply:P.T. Barnum was right.





How sad.





I think maybe your mother is controlling and rude, and her religion contributes to that.
Reply:If you are decorating FOR others you must have the humility to meet their needs. In this case it is a liturgical necessity to honor the church season.





Get to know the needs of your client.
Reply:I m sorry you have to go through this. I gave up trying a long time ago. If i do not do anything then they can not complain
Reply:Some parent/child relationships don't mature in the way they are supposed to. Sometimes a mother always sees her child as just that, a child, who is open to correction. It may be a good time to assert yourself. If you redefine your role in this relationship than the relationship can continue to flourish in a healthy way. I am best friends with my parents since becoming an adult because they understand boundaries. It seems like perhaps now would be a good time to draw some boundaries of your own with your mother. Good luck!
Reply:it is ok to do what you are doing. I see no harm in it at all and find it good of you to do such a wonderful thing for your fellow church goers.





Do not let your mothers ways affect your trying to be a good person. She may have a very destructive mother herself and is helpless to stop herself from repeating her mothers mistakes... do you see? It is good that you recognize how wrong it is but that you still love her and respect her and forgive her. It will be very important that as you grow up and have your own children..you do not repeat your mothers mistakes.





It is good to me to see someone else want to stop the crown of thorns. Jesus is risen. Risen. Alive and unharmed . What was done is done and finished according to Jesus. He is risen!
Reply:You say the word "people" but is it really just your mother?It does sound to me as though there needs to be an individuation.


You are fully capable of making your own choices, you are NOT here on this Earth to please HER, or anyone really. The only one you need be concerned with is God.


I went through something similar with a relative. They made much use out of my need for their approval. Finally, I realized that I was never going to get that person's approval no matter what I did...I stopped chasing after that carrot on a stick, and did my own thing. Whenever I was harped on about something by that one, I simply replied "It's what I chose to do, and I like it just fine." The harping would go on, or some grumbling, but I maintained the same position. It does work, but takes some time.


We teach people how they can treat us, by showing them what we will "take" from them.


Draw the line in the sand, and mean it.
Reply:Just sweetly say - "Thanks for your input Mom!" - and then do what you will. You're Mom's expectations are about HER - they are not about YOU. Just remember that. Do what you do for your church/God out of joy!!! Your Mom has nothing to do with it!





Namaste!
Reply:So it's not "people" that have you upset, it's your mom.





If everyone else is happy and you are happy, then it seems that the problem lies with your mother, and maybe she is just a negative person.





I know that can be hurtful and be aggravating.





You want to think you have her approval, because after all she's your mother, but the sad fact is that for people like her, nothing is ever good enough.





So, hopefully you will eventually get to the place where you are confident in all you do and accomplish whether she approves or not.





Sounds like you are a faithful and committed church member and they are lucky to have you. I think your theme sounds beautiful.
Reply:She is your mother... I have been dealing with this from my mother for almost 1/4 of a century. Its just a natural part of the way things work.





Unfortunately, until you are not dependent on her anymore, you have to deal with it. I have not lived with my mother for a couple years and she still tries to control my life. Now I have the authority to tell her to shove off if she says something I do not like.
Reply:Two issues.


1. Love them anyway,surrender it to God and the Holy Sprirt will guide you.





2. Is Easter about Jesus needing to suffer for your sinfulness, or are we already pure children of God who only need to be awakened to this fact like flowers awaken in the Spring and Jesus arose because death and pain are not real?
Reply:There will always be people that try to rain on your parade. If you are doing what God has told you to do, don't worry about it. Ask God what you should do about it. Put it in His hands and pray for those who persecute you without a cause. God bless.
Reply:Seems its not PEOPLE but Just your Mom you have a issue with , so as a family.....go to her and her alone and tell her your concerns.........and work it out between the TWO of You


Then Do what you do , and get on with the decorating .
Reply:I'm going to Answer assuming that you're not a Troll.





I agree with your choices.





Were it MY call, I would celebrate Beauty, not a device of pain %26amp; torture.





Stand your ground.
Reply:Tell her to put up or shut up
Reply:Once more, this is why I am a Pagan. Talk about Christian Charity, you're doing all the charity for them.
Reply:Sometimes we can spend our whole lives trying to win our mother's love. And the hurt and rejection goes on and on. I have personally experienced this myself too. Jesus can heal your heart. I could tell you how I have managed to rise above this and how God healed me in this area, Email me if you want.


Jesus loves you!
Reply:And once again I agree with Ivy.





Can't have a scene representing a religious holiday without some scary symbolism to scare the hell out of the followers to keep them in line !!!
Reply:Hi,


You are not the only one it is with all children. Parents like to see that their kids come out and do their best and they like to guide. We have to learn to just probably see ourselves in their position and then we will understand them (Parents) better.
Reply:You will never please everyone and that's okay. This is something everyone has to come to terms with in life. Please realize it does not change the fact that your hard work is appreciated.





Just let your mother know that you have chosen a different theme and will not be using that particular piece. Then remember how incredibly grateful you are that you have food on your table, a roof over your head, your kids aren't going to die of starvation, your home wasn't just destroyed by an earthquake, and that your mother is still alive.





And see how much this silly little issue means to you then.
Reply:Hello, Gina:





Turn the other cheek. There is still the commandment to honor your father and mother.





Others appreciate your efforts, and I'm certain your mother does too. It is no big thing as Jesus is the Rose of Sharon, put some roses in the crown.





We must learn to tolerate others who do nothing, and to cover their apathy, offer suggestions from the sideline.





For example, Judas, who was self-serving said: "Shouldn't that perfume be sold and the money given to the poor?" And Judas was stealing from the purse.





But for the sake of peace, learn to not "sweat" the little things--The peacemakers will see God.





Shalom, peace in Jesus, Ben Yeshua
Reply:I hope you are joking, otherwise you are seriously messed up.





Try this: think for YOURSELF





are you old enough to use reason and common sense and start pleasing your self (or your god, if you must)





grow up and be your own person - stop trying to please everyone
Reply:feeling used by your church yet???