Friday, May 14, 2010

Can anyone fix this sentence? I am trying to write an essay and this sentence is getting on my nerves.?

This is the sentence: At the beginning, Rose of Sharon was conjugal or took only the care for her family, but after she lost her baby and husband she was the mother of all, which explains the meaning of her name, Rose of Sharon or mother Mary.

Can anyone fix this sentence? I am trying to write an essay and this sentence is getting on my nerves.?
No -- I don't think it can be fixed.





Split it up into three or four sentences. Get rid of the word "conjugal" -- or at least use it differently





I'd probably write something like:





Before losing her child and husband, Rose of Sharon enjoyed a typical married life. After her tragedy, she took solice by becoming a mother to all. This led to her being known as Mother Mary.





I'm assuming some facts here -- you might want to play with it.
Reply:I think the word "to" is the problem. Try "was conjugal but only took care for her family" or "provided the only care for her family"





Hope that helps.
Reply:the only problem i thought there was is that there is a missing comma after conjugal wich i added


Sharon was conjugal, or took only the care for her family, but after she lost her baby and husband she was the mother of all, which explains the meaning of her name, Rose of Sharon or mother Mary.
Reply:At the beginning, Rose of Sharon was conjugal, meaning she took only the care for her family. However, after she lost her baby and husband she was the mother of all. This explains the meaning of her name, Rose of Sharon, or mother Mary.
Reply:ummm, I changed several parts and am not quite sure if this was what you were trying for, but here's my first thought when looking at your sentence....





In the beginning, the conjugal Rose of Sharon cared only for her family; but at the loss of her baby and husband, she fulfilled her name's meaning (Mother Mary) by becoming the mother to all.
Reply:In the beginning, Rose of Sharon only took care of her family. But, after she lost her baby and husband, she became the mother of all. This explains the meaning of her name, Rose of Sharon, or, Mother Mary

Dental Implants

No comments:

Post a Comment